[He shouldn't stop. He's angry and lashing out and it's not like Kravitz is going to say anything other than "I'm sorry." He's tired of hearing people apologize to him. Saying sorry doesn't change the shit that's happening, doesn't make any of it any better. People can feel regret and still do bad things. Taako's done it. He's learned how not to feel sorry for things he does anymore because whatever he's done, he's done it to survive.
So he shouldn't stop right now, but he does. He's put distance between himself and Kravitz, enough that he's out of arm's reach. He can run if he needs to, but more than running? He just wants answers. Even one would make this whole shitshow situation he's in right now be a little more bearable.]
What.
[His voice is thinner than he expects, pitched flat and waiting for something to break the tension. He doesn't trust himself to say more than that even if he wants to. What do you want? What can you tell me? What are you willing to tell me?]
[ He's surprised that Taako's stopped at all. He takes a step forward, but... that's all. He wants to close the rest of distance between them, but with what's just happened, he feels he doesn't get to do that. Not right now. His arm falls back to his side, and he sighs. He knows he probably looks about as helpless as he feels. ]
... I don't want it to be this way either. If I could, I'd tell you anything. Everything. I I would try, if it would make any difference. [ And then, what Taako doesn't want to hear: ] ... I'm sorry.
[Of course Kravitz doesn't want it to be this way. Who would, right? It's a clusterfuck of mismatched memories, misaligned timelines, and information unable to be shared. It's frustrating and disappointing and hearing Kravitz say all that? Doesn't make it any better. He wants to check on Lup. She'd been distressed and of all the people here in this stupid spaceship hellscape, he actually cares about what happens to her and he hates himself for it. Enemy or not, she's proven time and time again to give a shit about him and, for once, he wants to return the favor.
But so does Kravitz. For whatever reason, between their pseudo-date at the Chug N' Squeeze and Kravitz arriving here, enough time had passed that he'd gotten himself smitten. And while Taako has been fine with it so far? Sometimes it's moments like these when it bothers him. There's a history between him and Lup that he doesn't know and can't, apparently, but then there's history between him and Kravitz now. History enough that he's apologizing about everything and that bothers Taako. Because the last time he saw Kravitz on the moon base, he'd been shy and interested, but this Kravitz is concerned with pleasing him, confident, and sad when he thinks Taako isn't looking.]
You'd tell me anything, huh?
[He turns, hands on his hips, as he looks up to regard Kravitz, his expression cold.]
Because yeah, that'd make a big difference. You, Mags, Lup, you all tiptoe around me like I'm fucking fragile. And sure, sometimes it's nice to be treated like I'm a precious commodity, but that doesn't mean handle me with kid gloves. I mean, fuck, Krav! It's not like I need heart-to-hearts on the reg, but we haven't even talked about what's going on between us. And that? That's the one thing we can talk about.
[ Nah. He cuts himself off, just lets Taako finish, listening instead. Really listening. Because, yeah, he isn't wrong. He has been tiptoeing around him, and it's been awful. And for all that Kravitz has thought - and now said! - that he wants to talk about it all, they never have. And it might not be completely his fault, considering Taako can often be the crown king of not talking about your problems, but... he deserved that. All of it.
He's quiet for a second, weathering Taako's cold gaze and refusing to look away from him. He can't keep the sadness out of his eyes - never been good at that around Taako - but his lips are pressed together in a thin line and he's standing firm. He nods once. ]
You're right. We can. And we really should. [ He sighs, a fraction of the tension leaving him as he continues. ] I really am sorry, Taako - for not trying to bring any of it up, and for my part in causing this mess. But like you said, we can talk about us. And if you're ready to talk about it too, then we can.
[And there it is again. That perpetual sadness, the look that makes Taako's heart seize and want to run away. Whatever he's doing, whatever he's said, it makes Kravitz sad because it's wrong or it's not what he remembers or it causes him guilt. Taako doesn't like admitting that he cares for someone, especially admitting he's falling for someone as quickly as he's let himself fall for Kravitz.
And there he goes apologizing for it all like it's even his fault at all. Gods! It makes Taako want to punch him in the perfect face just so he'd get angry or yell or do something other than be kind and caring. Taako doesn't deserve kind and caring. He's never put any of that out into the world, so why is it coming back at him? That gap between them, the missing time, it makes hi wonder what sort of person he became to make Kravitz be like this with him.
And then it makes him wonder if it's actually him Kravitz sees, and not just some future version of him that doesn't exist yet.
Taako sets his mouth in a line, trying to choke back his thoughts to keep them from spilling out and ends up shrugging apathetically in a wild emotional over correction.]
I'm the one that brought it up, so whatever, sure. But not here.
[He's had enough emotional outbursts in a public hallway to last him the next few centuries. Taako turns and starts stalking to his room, ducking inside and leaving the door open for Kravitz to follow.]
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So he shouldn't stop right now, but he does. He's put distance between himself and Kravitz, enough that he's out of arm's reach. He can run if he needs to, but more than running? He just wants answers. Even one would make this whole shitshow situation he's in right now be a little more bearable.]
What.
[His voice is thinner than he expects, pitched flat and waiting for something to break the tension. He doesn't trust himself to say more than that even if he wants to. What do you want? What can you tell me? What are you willing to tell me?]
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... I don't want it to be this way either. If I could, I'd tell you anything. Everything. I I would try, if it would make any difference. [ And then, what Taako doesn't want to hear: ] ... I'm sorry.
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But so does Kravitz. For whatever reason, between their pseudo-date at the Chug N' Squeeze and Kravitz arriving here, enough time had passed that he'd gotten himself smitten. And while Taako has been fine with it so far? Sometimes it's moments like these when it bothers him. There's a history between him and Lup that he doesn't know and can't, apparently, but then there's history between him and Kravitz now. History enough that he's apologizing about everything and that bothers Taako. Because the last time he saw Kravitz on the moon base, he'd been shy and interested, but this Kravitz is concerned with pleasing him, confident, and sad when he thinks Taako isn't looking.]
You'd tell me anything, huh?
[He turns, hands on his hips, as he looks up to regard Kravitz, his expression cold.]
Because yeah, that'd make a big difference. You, Mags, Lup, you all tiptoe around me like I'm fucking fragile. And sure, sometimes it's nice to be treated like I'm a precious commodity, but that doesn't mean handle me with kid gloves. I mean, fuck, Krav! It's not like I need heart-to-hearts on the reg, but we haven't even talked about what's going on between us. And that? That's the one thing we can talk about.
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[ Nah. He cuts himself off, just lets Taako finish, listening instead. Really listening. Because, yeah, he isn't wrong. He has been tiptoeing around him, and it's been awful. And for all that Kravitz has thought - and now said! - that he wants to talk about it all, they never have. And it might not be completely his fault, considering Taako can often be the crown king of not talking about your problems, but... he deserved that. All of it.
He's quiet for a second, weathering Taako's cold gaze and refusing to look away from him. He can't keep the sadness out of his eyes - never been good at that around Taako - but his lips are pressed together in a thin line and he's standing firm. He nods once. ]
You're right. We can. And we really should. [ He sighs, a fraction of the tension leaving him as he continues. ] I really am sorry, Taako - for not trying to bring any of it up, and for my part in causing this mess. But like you said, we can talk about us. And if you're ready to talk about it too, then we can.
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And there he goes apologizing for it all like it's even his fault at all. Gods! It makes Taako want to punch him in the perfect face just so he'd get angry or yell or do something other than be kind and caring. Taako doesn't deserve kind and caring. He's never put any of that out into the world, so why is it coming back at him? That gap between them, the missing time, it makes hi wonder what sort of person he became to make Kravitz be like this with him.
And then it makes him wonder if it's actually him Kravitz sees, and not just some future version of him that doesn't exist yet.
Taako sets his mouth in a line, trying to choke back his thoughts to keep them from spilling out and ends up shrugging apathetically in a wild emotional over correction.]
I'm the one that brought it up, so whatever, sure. But not here.
[He's had enough emotional outbursts in a public hallway to last him the next few centuries. Taako turns and starts stalking to his room, ducking inside and leaving the door open for Kravitz to follow.]